Sunday, April 8, 2007

Flipping Pages

As an in the closet perfectionist, it is often difficult for me to start things. So today, I ease into this blog by giving you, reader, snippets from my journal.

I attend many weddings, bridal showers and baby showers. The frequency of these invitations will eventually dwindle, replaced by funerals.

i sense that things unsaid might soon be said. yikes.

Things I ache for more of:
throwing pottery
the streets of florence & ghiberti's baptistery doors
the beach. always the beach.

Yesterday, while watching the The Sound of Music, Mikayla [niece, 8yrs] asked me, “Why weren’t women allowed to do all the same things as men?” Nazis, church men, monarchs and our country's founding fathers crowded my mind. Whatever I answered her was inadequate (as is my own understanding). Then she asked, “But now we can do whatever we want, right?!” I nodded, silently cheering her on. Gumption.

Nothing's more romantic
than the way good love can take leave of you.
That's why I'm so doggone lonesome, Baby,
yes, I'm lonesome and I'm blue.
--Terrance Hayes, "The Blue Terrance"

I love to cook an extravagant meal and then eat it. By myself.

If Dad loved me perfectly, I still don't think it would've been enough.

This afternoon I put on my new down coat, sat on the bed and looked in the mirror. Tired and cold. Maybe a little depressed. In the pocket of my coat I found a little folded piece of paper that said, "You are a goddess."
It helped.