Animalia in Four Parts

I. Opossum
Possums are ugly and they are creepy. They can't help this any more than I can help feeling repulsed upon seeing one. From picture books I read as a child, I expected them to be cute. Since we decided to build cities all over their homelands, they can be quite a pest in our neighborhoods. I once heard as one was beat to death for it's nagging presence and for stealing cat food.

II. Felius Catus
A cat friend recently passed away. Kidney failure. Our relationship began in a tumultuous fashion, which included weeping (mine) and gnashing of teeth (hers). For several months she hated me and made it clear. If I tried to pet her, she attacked or if I walked too close, she growled in that horrible, guttural way only cats can. Then one night she let herself into my bedroom. She jumped onto my bed and made her way up to my head, where she draped her massive feline body over my neck. That's right, my neck. An entire queen bed at her disposal and she chose neck. Then she rested her head against my mouth. That's right, my mouth. I was afraid and I could not breathe. Risking a facial maiming, I gently moved her head to the side. I thought this strange behavior was a joke at first. But she began purring and probably slept more soundly than I did that night. I guess this was her making peace--kind of like Lt. Dan showing up to be Captain Gump's first mate on the shrimping boat. She's gone now. I feel the loss.

III. See Turtle not Sea Turtle
Fact: Turtles have wrinkly skin.
When my friend's parents forced him to eat the turtle they cooked, it was seeing the boiled knee wrinkles that scarred him most severely.

IV. Of the Family Ursidae
Speaking of maiming, in a recent dream a bear attacked me. Some doofus kept the bear as a pet, claiming it was domesticated. You, reader, already know that the bear was NOT. He ate his master inside their two story house. For some reason I was in the backyard. When the bear finished with Master Doofus, he came after me. Standing over me, Bear first tore off part of my shoulder. This hurt a little. Then he ripped out a chunk of my stomach. This hurt more. His enormous paw then covered the top of my head. I thought, "I'm about to feel my head rip away from my neck." In a swift mind control move, I willed the bear across the field. We locked eyes and I bloody ran. I kept running even after I woke up. In 11 minutes I would be late for work.

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